Yesterday’s pictures of Whitney Port’s delicious long legs got me in the mood for more, so thankfully she decided to head to the beach or pool or whatever to get some sun on those things. Here she is doing her best to get my attention by fiddling with her bikini top. Silly girl, that’s not going to work on me, I’m far to worldly to fall for such a pedestrian move. Although, she’s really getting in there, like she’s trying to radio Tokyo with her nipples. Wouldn’t that be awesome, talking to some asian chick on Whitney Port’s boobs. I’ve completely lost my train of thought haven’t I?

I’m feeling pretty good today so I thought I’d get things started with a little taste of some Victoria’s Secret model’s cleavage, here’s Selita Ebanks giving us a good look at why she got the job as a lingerie model. This to me is the perfect amount of cleavage, big enough to get a sweet handful and an even sweeter motorboat, but not too big to suffocate a small deer. Although I would like to see her try.

Here’s Ashley Greene teasing us with some sexy faces while she buys flowers, I bet she got a discount. Have I written enough yet? Are you still reading this garbage? Seriously, it’s just some chick in a cardigan making a couple of doing it facial expressions that I’ve never seen before. Most of the sex faces I see involve frowns or scowls or bitter looks of disappointment. Aren’t you glad you kept reading?

This is one of the greatest ass shots I’ve ever seen, here’s uber hottie Megan Fox arching her back and presenting the goods in Harper’s Bazaar magazine of all places. If it wasn’t for the white one piece, this sh#t could be in Hustler, ok maybe not Hustler, but at least Playboy. What I would give to spend an afternoon on that couch or bed or whatever it is over looking the city with Megan and her ass. If I were a dying teenage boy I would be on the phone everyday with the Make A Wish Foundation . Hot!

Yesterday I had some awkward pictures of Julie Bowen, the mom from the show Modern Family, running around the beach in her bikini so I thought I should give one of her co-stars a little attention too. Here’s spicy Colombian MILF Sofia Vergera showing off some nice side booty in these profile shots of her on the set. I would just love to get a handful of that ass, she’d probably yell some sort of obscenities at me, but I can’t understand a word she says anyway so who cares. Enjoy.

Here’s Penelope Cruz looking all hot and bothered at some photocall for the movie Nine the other day. She’s saucy, I love her. Look at the way she bites her lip, like she just thought back to the experimenting she did with a sorority sister while traveling through Europe one summer during her college years. I wish I could go back in time and be a fly on that wall. Can flies get boners? Cause this fly certainly would. Enjoy.

What the hell? Kim Kardashian was doing such a great job convincing us with her recent cleavage shots that there’s more to her than just a big fat ass stuffed into various tight pants. So why now does she decide to cover up the goods? Her management team must think that we’re getting off topic and are going to do something big to get us focussed back on her posterior. I’m excited and a little frightened to find out what they have planned. I’ll keep you posted.

I don’t know why I’m posting these pictures of Cameron Diaz on the set of one of her new movies, the pictures aren’t spectacular or anything, I guess I’m just tired. Although, she is showing off her sexy legs in that little dress or maybe I just like them because I feel like I’m doing something I shouldn’t. Like when I hang out in the ladies changing room at Wal Mart with one of those little dentist mirrors eating ice cream sandwiches, I know it’s a bad idea but those things are just delicious.

Here’s Whitney Port making sexy faces in Miami the other day wearing a sweet little summer skirt. I know, who gives a crap right? Well, I do and I make the rules around here so tough luck. Besides, the girl is pretty hot and she’s got those great long legs that would look incredible wrapped around my head. I don’t mean that in a sexual way, I just think that they would be nice and warm on my skin like a really sexy scarf. What?

Here’s poor little Rachel Bilson walking the streets the other day like a sad little puppy in homeless man’s sweater. Cheer up princess, I know you’re still seeing that douche from Star Wars and well, those other Star Wars, but things will get better. If you need someone to talk to or you want someone to come over and rub your feet, I’m your man. Of course when I say feet I mean boobs, but it’s the thought that counts. Call me.